Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
