went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
