I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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