I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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