dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
