Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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