I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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