you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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