Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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