That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
