Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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