I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
