Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
