So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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