I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
