There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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