that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
