ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
