wat bout pragnant strippers??
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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