just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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