but the lizard people decide everything anyway
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
