Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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