I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
