Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
