yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
