Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Randomize
