It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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