summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Fuck appropriateness.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
