i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
