I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
