they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
