She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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