if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
