You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
