I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Randomize
