I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
