Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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