Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
PS: I just woke up from my shower
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
