STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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