another moral hangover. fuck.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize
