best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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