im having a threesome with these popsicles
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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