My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
