my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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