I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
