So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
my liver is dry heaving
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
