Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
