did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
one might say we're banned from that church
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
