My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Just cropdusted the office
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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