we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
